I’ve never received email from a dog before yesterday.
Dear Master,
I am looking forward to meeting you this Saturday! I have heard lots about you and am learning new tricks just for you. I can't wait to join you on long runs, walks, and bike rides.
Love your soon to be buddy,
Bandit
To which I responded;
Nice proposal. What do you think about this though?
http://birds.about.com/od/adoptingabird/tp/birdsgoodpets.htm
I really don't know what to do.
The response I got back was pretty funny;
Dude. A bird?
- Birds pick up on your behaviours - personally, I think it would be weird if a bird strutted around the house in his underwear
- Cleaning a cage - ok, have you seen the mess a bird creates? Feathers and poop everywhere? Crapping on your shoulder?
- Easy to train - I highly doubt you could train a bird to retrieve beer caps or shake a paw.
- Minimal grooming - you don't bathe a dog everyday or even every week.
- Social creatures - what's more social than a dog? MAN'S BEST FRIEND ring a bell?
- Inexpensive to feed? Well, I don't know how much bird seed is, and all those treat stick thingys. I think Costco can help you in the dog food dept.
- Small space - So? You can walk your bird. Or go running with your bird. You can't romp around in the park with your bird. Well, I suppose you could, but you'd be arrested for indecent exposure.
- Birds are not considered pets at rental properties - until they screech and sqawk and make a racket. Plus, you aren't renting.
- Birds are attractive to look at. hahahahaha Are you kidding me? Have you seen those pictures of me yet? Look at those warm, loving eyes. Those eyes that say, "Dont' you just love me?"
- Long-lived companions. Well, sometimes this isn't such a great thing. Sometimes you don't want pets anymore. And hey, what the heck would you do with a 40 or 50 year old bird? who wants an old bird? No one lives forever and who wants a decrepit old bird.
The pressure is getting serious.
