Taking a page directly from The George Bush Book of Foreign Policy (Coles Notes version), I’ve decided that the only appropriate response to the tree that I fell out of is a swift and decisive series of surgical strikes that  demonstrates my superiority. We can’t have the trees thinking that they can injure people like me without some sort of a reaction.

So we’re having all the trees in our yard cut down today.

I’ll let you know how things go.

We’ll show those trees who rules this roost.