Nicholas Carvan: “I got to talking to a man in my local cafe today. He worked for a tobacco company, and he had a new gadget.”

Smoker: There’s nothing worse than a reformed smoker.

Me: Except a smoker.

Smoker: My point exactly.

Our company Christmas party is this evening. Toronto has a very comprehensive smoke-free policy in place (I refuse to call it a smoking ban, its a guarantee of fresh air). As a reformed smoker, I really appreciate this. It makes it easy to stay quit, appreciate why I quit in the first place and keeps my dry-cleaning bills to a minimum.

Of course, because our Christmas party is a private party, the smoke-free laws don’t apply.

Smoking starts at 9pm. I’m leaving at 8:58.

I’m kind of bothered that a handful of smokers are being accomodated at the expense of everyone else. “But there will only be smoking in one small corner of the room!” I was told.

Yeah, Whatever. That’ll last about five minutes.